How to Get Married When You're Dead Ass Broke
By Bethany Vale
A recent Fox News headline screamed at me from the top of its lungs. "U.S. Marriage Rates May be Dipping Because of a Shortage of Financially Stable Men." (Source.)
The headline catapulted me down memory lane to an era when my fiance of five years backed out of buying a house because he feared we couldn't afford it. His refusal to take a leap of faith tore me apart inside, but it was all for the best. The year was 1996. Online chat rooms had just become popular, and both of us had been participating in long distance flirtations. I'm pretty sure it was his attraction to another girl that led him to abandon our plans to move out of our parent's homes and start a life together. Obviously, neither one of us were emotionally ready for a lifelong commitment. The finances were just an excuse. |
A few years after the breakup with my first fiancee, I met a 22-year-old man who made a paltry living loading trucks for a local chain of resale shops. His income was lower than the income of any man I had ever dated, but his desire to build a life with me was so strong that we ended up moving in together within two months. Just like that, I learned that love conquers all. If a man WANTS to sweep you off your feet, he will. He'll put you at the center of his universe and make you the main focus of his life.
I'm proud to say that I've spent the last 21 years with my truck loader, who now earns a decent living as a foreman at a steel plant. As an older woman approaching age 50, I want to send a message to young couples who are struggling to build a future with no money: You can do it, if you want to. You can do it, if you dare. Financial problems are nothing new. When my grandparents had their first child in 1950, they often went to work without lunch to save money for dinner. They sewed their own baby clothes, canned their own food and paid on the hospital debt connected to my father's traumatic birth for more than ten years.
I'm proud to say that I've spent the last 21 years with my truck loader, who now earns a decent living as a foreman at a steel plant. As an older woman approaching age 50, I want to send a message to young couples who are struggling to build a future with no money: You can do it, if you want to. You can do it, if you dare. Financial problems are nothing new. When my grandparents had their first child in 1950, they often went to work without lunch to save money for dinner. They sewed their own baby clothes, canned their own food and paid on the hospital debt connected to my father's traumatic birth for more than ten years.
How to Get a Place of Your Own When Both Partners Earn Minimum Wage
As a wedding DJ, I've hosted unions between hundreds of young couples in the last 15 years. Some began life with viable careers in place, and others started with nothing. I'm particularly impressed when I see young couples turn single wide trailers into beautiful love nests. I once visited a small trailer to deliver an event contract and help the bride plan a budget wedding in her mother's backyard. She used furniture covers to hide her second hand couches and decorated the walls with beautiful artwork sourced from resale shops. Sitting in her living room felt just like hanging out in a cozy brick home.
Unless you live in a notoriously expensive area like Los Angeles or New York City, two young people earning minimum wage should be able to afford a place to live, provided they're both committed to foregoing certain luxuries like trips to shopping malls, movie theaters and restaurants. My first apartment was a townhouse, but I could have saved a ton of money if I had known more about cheap living at the time. Here are some of the things I've learned talking to young brides:
Unless you live in a notoriously expensive area like Los Angeles or New York City, two young people earning minimum wage should be able to afford a place to live, provided they're both committed to foregoing certain luxuries like trips to shopping malls, movie theaters and restaurants. My first apartment was a townhouse, but I could have saved a ton of money if I had known more about cheap living at the time. Here are some of the things I've learned talking to young brides:
- Starter homes located near railroad tracks and airports are dirt cheap! Some folks feel very lucky to get them.
- A duplex will allow you to earn extra money by renting the other side.
- Basements can be rented out for extra income, even if they aren't fully finished. If you're lucky enough to own a home with a basement, consider renting it to senior citizen or disabled veteran. Older people are extra quiet, and they generally come without children to add more chaos.
- Apartment buildings tend to be cheaper than apartment complexes with swimming pools, game rooms or tennis courts. This is particularly true of smaller apartment buildings owned by individual landlords rather than corporations.
- Upper and lower flats are great options for folks who don't mind sharing a single structure with another family. If you can stand the sound of neighbors walking overhead, much money can be saved versus the cost of living in a townhouse or condominium.
- Single wide trailers are cute and ultra cheap. Best of all, you'll be left with a tangible asset after a few years of making payments. Almost anything is better than dumping rent into a space you'll never own. Sell the trailer at the end of your stay, and use the money as a down payment on a house.
- Tiny homes are ultra efficient, and they can be moved from place to place. The tiny house movement has gathered much momentum in the last few years. Visit YouTube for charming videos made by adventurous folks who manage to live in the smallest of spaces.
How to Live on a Grocery Budget of $50 aWeek
When I think of all the money I've spent on organic foods in the last ten years, I feel like I should have the word "sucker" stamped on my forehead. I was particularly outraged when I read about a facility that crammed a million chickens into a nasty barn with no direct sunlight or fresh air. And yes, the chickens were certified USDA Organic. (Source.) I won't try to make the point that all organic foods are a waste of money, but I will stress that folks earning minimum wage can't afford such things anyway. Don't obsess over luxury food items that may or may not be superior to their generic counterparts.
This ten pound bag of chicken breasts is pretty cheap at Walmart. I use it for making stir fried chicken with veggies, but it's also great for soups, stews and casseroles.
Don't waste money on small bags of vegetables. It's MUCH cheaper to get a giant bag and divide it among several zip lock bags.
Potatoes are a staple for poor folks around the world, but be careful. They're fattening!
Grab a ten pound tube of hamburger for making meatloaf, spaghetti, burgers and tacos. Cut the tube into quarters while it's still soft. Wrap and freeze the individual quarters. If you're worried about fat content, rinse your spaghetti meat after draining it. You can also cook your burgers on a George Foreman Grill.
If you've never tried generic spaghetti sauce, take a leap of faith. It's actually quite tasty!
A big box of cereal should last two people a week.
Grilled cheese sandwiches are good enough for lunch.
Cream of chicken soup is great for making casseroles, stews or chicken dumplings
10 Easy Ways to Score Free Meals
- Visit ClarkDeals.com for a complete list of national chain restaurants offering various free food deals. For example, Arby's is currently offering a free roast beef classic with the purchase of any drink.
- Drop by different wedding venues to ask if you can sample the buffet. Such places are more than happy to let prospective brides and grooms try a plate of food. Call in advance to ask about the best time to drop by.
- Agree to attend a sales meeting hosted by a local travel club. Many travel agencies offer free gift certificates to popular restaurants to entice couples to come and listen to sales pitches connected to vacation packages. There's never an obligation to buy.
- Sign up for free restaurant promotions. In many restaurants, birthdays are paydays!
- Foursquare is an app that allows you to use your smartphone to locate free food across the country. Because of the app’s popularity, many restaurant and bar owners offer specials to get people through the door.
- Visit websites such as RetailMeNot and BeFrugal to print free grocery coupons!
- A home vegetable garden can provide countless free meals over the course of a lifetime. Try hearty and satisfying root veggies like carrots, squash, and potatoes. If you don't have a yard, look into indoor growing pods for small apartment spaces.
- Start visiting relatives who've always asked you to drop by. Chances are, your grandmother, aunt or cousin would absolutely thrilled to cook you a nice meal and catch up on old times.
- Get a job in a restaurant or buffet. Many business owners allow employees to take home leftovers.
- If you're truly in a desperate situation, visit local food banks to score canned items and homemade goods contributed by local bakeries.